Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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