The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
