i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This is my gift to your gina
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
