this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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