I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
