Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
