Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
