There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
