You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
