based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
