Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
