my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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