She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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