Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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