every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
