Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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