More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Someone shit on the floor
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
