ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
