wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
