Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
