mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
