is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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