I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There r osticjed everywhere
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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