Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
