He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
