I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
