She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
