It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
