where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
