Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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