too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
