My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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