She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
