R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
a search helicopter?!
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
