I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Did I show you my penis last night?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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