So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
