i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
