Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize