The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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