do herpes really smell.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
my god I love twenty year old dicks
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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