It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
