community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
