You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
