i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
