he wants to bone in the snuggie
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
