Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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