he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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