I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
