it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
