So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize