Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
BRING THE BAGELS
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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