Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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