FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
