She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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