she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
