We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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