What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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