Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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