Quick, to the slutcave!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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