yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you never un-have a 4some
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize