the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
